Bittersweet
by SharilinAlenko
Summary: Steve Cortez is one of the newest members of the Normandy SR-2 crew. He's a quiet and sensitive man, and during their amazing mission to save the galaxy he begins to be found of his commanding officer, Shepard, watching her from afar. So he begins to notice that there's something important between her and the other new recruit of the ship, the Major Kaidan Alenko…


Steve Cortez is a very proud member of the Normandy SR-2 crew, where he is responsible of maintaining the armory of the ship with his friend James Vega, besides of course his main role of pilot of the Kodiak Shuttle. His glory of being part of that amazing crew is because of their important mission, and especially because of their awesome commanding officer: the Commander Shepard.

Steve never met a woman as extraordinary as her: all the people in the ship admire her, and they're ready to follow her to hell and back, because she is a force of nature on the battleground, a very charismatic leader and a loyal friend.

But now she is also a woman in love. Her involvement with Major Alenko has become evident for almost all the crew, and Steve is very glad for her: she deserves to be happy.

Almost six months ago, Flight Lieutenant Cortez was chosen to join the Normandy crew to oversee the Shuttle Bay modifications, and since the beginning he was very satisfied because it was hard work, and the more he had to work the less he could think about his… loss.

Then all changed at once: the Earth was under attack and they'd to escape from there, with the old commanding officer in charge again of her own ship.

The first time Steve met Shepard was when they docked at the Citadel, after their unexpected mission on Mars. She was a little different from the image of her that he used to have in his mind, thanks to all the gossips: she seems to be younger than her real age, the features of her face very attractive, her expression both fierce and kind at the same time. She stared at him with her serious sky-blue eyes while he was introducing himself to her and then she gave him a warm smile, her calm voice thanking him for his job and telling him that she was honored to have him in her team.

He was immediately conquered by her strong character, but there was something more behind her being so reliable and powerful: sadness… anguish… Probably no one ever noticed - she was so able to hide it - but Cortez recognized it because they were the same feelings he had since… his loss.

Maybe for this reason he started to pour out his heart to her when she went to salute him at the Shuttle Bay. It was a long time since he had talked to another person about him… Robert, his beloved husband.

He told Shepard all about Robert's death, caused by the Collectors' attack to their colony: she was very sympathetic towards him, even when he started to cry, she spurred him not to blame himself for what had happened, and to try to carry on with his life. She was near him even when Steve went to visit the Memorial Wall for victims of Collectors' and Reapers' attacks at the Docks at the Citadel.

_They are staying there, looking at the wall full of images, without saying anything. Steve can't hold his tears, gripping in his hand Robert's picture. After a while, Shepard leans gently her hand on his shoulder and starts to sing low:_

_- If I tell you_

_Will you listen?_

_Will you stay?_

_Will you be here forever?_

_Never go away?_

_Never thought things would change_

_Hold me tight_

_Please don't say again_

_That you have to go_

_A bitter thought_

_I had it all_

_But I just let it go_

_Hold your silence_

_It's so violent_

_Since your gone_

_All my thoughts are with you forever_

_Until the day we'll be back together_

_I will be waiting for you_

_If I had told you_

_You would have listened_

_You had stayed_

_You would be here forever_

_Never went away_

_It would never have been the same_

_All our time_

_Would have been in vain_

_Cause you had to go_

_The sweetest thought_

_I had it all_

_Cause I did let you go_

_All our moments_

_Keep me warm_

_When you're gone_

_All my thoughts are with you forever_

_Until the day we'll be back together_

_I will be waiting for you -_

_He stands speechless staring at her, her wonderful sweet voice makes his heartbeats calm down, his tearsstop. When she finishes the sad love song, her eyes are moist too. Cortez is very grateful to her, even if he understands that she hasn't sung that song only for him…_

_So, he takes a deep breath and he moves toward the wall, to stick his husband's picture in the middle of the others: he is ready to let him go._

_«All my thoughts are with you forever, until the day we'll be back together, Robert», he repeats the words of Shepard's song, and he turns his head to smile at her. «Thank you, Commander, I would have never been able to do this without your help… And thanks for your song…»_

_She responds at his sad smile. «No, I have to thank you, Cortez, to share with me this important moment. I hope you're going to feel better from now on», and she goes away._

In fact since that moment he found a little peace, relaxing himself: he started even to go to the Purgatory with James and the rest of the crew when they were in shore leave…

Unluckily Cortez felt useless for Shepard, because he couldn't help her back, and the sadness and the anguish in her eyes were always there… Everyday he carried on to remember the bittersweet words of her song, persuaded that she was thinking about someone specific… Since that night in the Port Observation, when she admitted what was wrong with her.

_«Well… I… used to… have a boyfriend… a lot of time ago…»_

_«And then… you know… shit happened… I died…»_

_«Oh… somehow… I contacted him… but it… didn't work again…»_

Her face was so afflicted when she said those words that he suddenly understood he was right, even if he didn't know she was talking about the Major, seated near her. He tried to tell her something to comfort her without succeeded… luckily that blabbermouth of James managed somehow to make her laugh.

But, amazingly, that was the last night that sadness and anguish were in her eyes: when Steve met Shepard again, he was totally caught by surprise seeing, for the first time, her gorgeous sky-blue eyes full of joy.

The next days he observed that something was happening between her and the Major Alenko.

As the pilot of the shuttle that transports the Commander and her squad to the several battlegrounds, he is always present during their missions, so he could witness some relevant events which helped him to understand their situation.

In the last week they were all focused on the war the Quarians had moved against the Geth to retake their home world Rannoch: they were having troubles because the Geth were upgraded by the Reapers, so the Flotilla suffered several losses. The Admiral Tali'Zorah, an old friend of Shepard since their fight against Saren, is on the Normandy again, and together they're trying to resolve the situation.

_In their first mission, the Commander, the Quarian and the Major have to enter into a Geth dreadnought, which is broadcasting the Reapers' control, to disable it. They are getting ready in the Shuttle Bay when EDI's voice captures their attention. «Shepard there's a problem. All tunnels except one are physically secured.»_

_«I see the free one. Pretty torn up, though…»_

_«What do you mean, Joker?», the Commander seems to be worried._

_«It's wrecked and open to the space, I am afraid you've to go across it with mag-boots…»_

_«What? A walk in the open space? No way! You're not going to do this Shepard, I will!», Alenko almost yells._

_Steve looks surprised at the Major, whose expression is firm and concerned, and suddenly he understands why he answers like that: after the crash of the Normandy SR-1, the Commander was flung into open space, till she suffocated to death."God… Even if she's now back to life thanks to Cerberus, she must be traumatized by that experience…"_

_«The only person who could safely do that is the Commander, because of her lower size. The structure is too instable to manage to carry you, Major», EDI states._

_«Damn! There must been another way…», the Major is agitated._

_Shepard inhales deeply. «Ok… I'll secure the docking area. You and Tali can follow me over.»_

_«Shepard…», Alenko takes her hand looking at her quite desperate, but she gives him a reassuring smile. «I can do it, Major. Wait for me, I'll be back soon!»_

_During all the time she is in the tunnel, Alenko's face is contracted by fear, his eyebrows tense and his hands closed in blue glowing fists: only when her voice comes out from the comm-link, warning them that she's inside the dreadnought, he finally relaxes._

Obviously they accomplished their duty, and they returned to the Normandy with a friendly Geth called Legion, another ally of Shepard during her fight against the Collectors.

The Lieutenant was very surprised about the fact that a Geth had helped them against his own people, but the Commander told him that Legion was her friend and he didn't agree with the part of his kind who decided to use Reapers' technology against the Quarian: he wanted to stop this war without any other losses from all the factions.

Steve admired Legion's determination, but his mind was still struck by Alenko's protective reaction towards Shepard, so he soon forgot about the Geth and begun to keep an eye on him.

That night at the Men's cabin, he suddenly realized that he hadn't seen the Major there from about days, so he looked at his bed and noticed that all his stuffs had disappeared! James caught the shock on his face and whispered to him: «He has… moved…»

The following three days Cortez managed to stare at him discreetly during their meals: Alenko was always sitting near Shepard, talking to her, both laughing together, sometimes even stealing playfully things from each other's tray. They seemed to be so confident and close…

The more Steve observed them, the more he saw their shoulders touching lightly, their fingers intertwining under the table, their faces giving lovingly glimpses and shy smiles… And when they finished the meal, they always got into the elevator together…

"So did Alenko move to the Capitan's cabin? I think so… They're so… tender!", he thought fondly and relieved. "I am so happy for her! But… the fraternization rules?". He knew how professional they both are, so if they decided to stay together even besides of the regs, they must be really in love.

"But… is that possible that a new love could erase the pain of the loss of an old one?", he asked himself many times while he was looking at them, thinking about her painful eyes, and about his own sadness…

_It's the fourth day from the Geth Dreadnought mission: this time they have to go on Rannoch with Legion to disable the server controlling the Geth Fighter squadrons, which are targeting Quarian liveships. Shepard chooses James and Garrus in her team, and they're all already in the Shuttle Bay, waiting for her._

_«Kaidan, no, you're going to stay here for this mission: Vega will come along with me, Garrus and Legion!», Shepard's annoyed voice floods in the deck, while she's going out from the elevator followed by Alenko._

_«No way, Shepard, I want to come with you!», his tone is demanding._

_She stops looking at him with burning eyes. «Wait a minute… Are you questioning about my decision? You're a Major sure, but you're on my fucking ship and you've to follow my fucking orders!»_

_«Stop with that Shepard, you know that's not the problem!», Alenko's expression is upset and exasperate at the same time._

_Garrus interrupts them. «Please, Shepard come here, I've to talk with you», and he points to her the inside of the Kodiak. She gives an angry glimpse to Alenko and then she follows the Turian's request. Steve is near the entrance, so he can look and listen to them._

_«What's the problem? You know I am always ready to follow you everywhere, but why don't you want to take Kaidan with you?», Garrus asks to his friend._

_She sighs uncomforted. «Garrus, you know… When we've to deal with Legion, we cannot be ever sure what his real purposes are…»_

_«So are you worried about Kaidan's reaction toward Legion's… surprises?»_

_She nods staring at the metal floor._

_«Well, Shepard, I can understand your fears, but listen… Don't you have decided to stay together with him again? Despite of all that happened between the two of you, all the time you stayed away from each other, all the tasks you've been through without him, all the Alliance rules against fraternization…»_

_She sighs again «You know I do…»_

_«So you've to trust him!»_

_«But I trust him, that's not the matter! I don't want him… to get worried during this mission… He doesn't know how to… interact with Legion!», the anger in her tone has disappeared, replaced by… anxiety?_

_«Come on, Shepard, you know better than me that he will be more worried alone in the Normandy waiting for your return than on Rannoch with you… And he will never be able to understand Legion and the other Geth like him if you'll continue to keep him away from them!»_

_She stares speechless at the Turian with her eyes open wide for a while. «Shit, Garrus… When did you become so wise?», she grins at him._

_«Oh Shepard, I always was!», Garrus gently pats on her shoulder and goes out from the shuttle «Kaidan, get ready for the mission, I am too busy with the calibrations of the Thanix cannons to go with them now!»_

_Steve turns his eyes on the Commander and there she is looking at him. «I know… You've a lot of questions to ask me, haven't you?»_

_He is surprised by her reaction. «No no, Commander …»_

_«You were so honest with me, telling me about your husband… And I didn't return your sincerity… But… I'm not the kind of woman who talks about herself… Shit, now I'm feeling a little guilty…»_

_«No, Shepard, you don't have to. It was my choice to tell to you about Robert, you don't owe me anything!»_

_«I know, but… Now I need you to know everything, because I don't want you to twist my relationship with Alenko…», her sky-blue eyes are still full of concern._

_«Shepard, I trust you, I know that you will always take the right choices for yourself, for the Normandy, for the humanity, for the entire galaxy!», he tries to reassure her._

_«Well, thanks Steve, this means a lot to me, even if I don't know if you're right…», she smiles at him. «Now I don't have the time and the heart to speak about… him… But you can ask James, he knows everything… Please do it…»_

_«As you wish, Ma'am!», he says to her while the rest of her team are getting close to the shuttle._

And so he did: that evening he caught Vega when they were alone in the Shuttle Bay, and his friend told him all he knew about Shepard and Alenko's history: how they met aboard the old Normandy… how they totally fell in love with each other, even if he was only a Lieutenant and she was his commanding officer… how they tried to resist to their own strong feelings without success… how her death almost killed him too… how their meeting after Cerberus rebuilt her got bad… how they argued on Mars… how she was worried about him after he rejoined the Normandy… how they finally admitted they were still in love with each other and they decided to stay together, even against the fraternization rules.

_«And from the day after we've docked last time at the Citadel, he moved into her quarters», James finishes._

_Cortez is amazed by their story: he feels like he had just watched an old love movie. «So they've been in love for all those years, even if she was dead! And now they're together again… It's so romantic…», he says moved._

_«Romantic? Well, probably it is… But… Why did she told you to ask me that?», James is incredulous._

_«Because she wanted me to understand her relationship with Alenko… Probably she was afraid I would think that it could compromise our mission…»_

_«Bullshits! You can't…!», James almost yells._

_«Of course not. Besides, she seems even more motivated than before, and I knew that in the battleground they are a terrible killer-team together!»_

_«Yeah, they're almost as powerful as me!», Vega grins._

_«Sure, James ahahah! Well, thanks for your time. We have to support them till the end, haven't we? Our Commander deserves a little of happiness with the love of her life!»_

_«You can count on it! I'm… looking after the rest of the crew… If someone will even try to criticize them… I'll punch him in the stomach!», he says shaking his fist._

_Steve feels a sting in his stomach because of the anxiety «Oh God, did anybody…?»_

_«Nope… I think the rest of the crew agree with us… There are only some of Alenko's fan-girl that are a little disappointed…»_

_«Really? Well, he's damn attractive…»,_

_«Hey hey, Esteban, don't forget he's already engaged!», James teases him, and he bursts into laughter._

* * *

«Cortez! How's going there?», Alenko's voice from the comm-link interrupts his thoughts.

«It's all right, Major, I am waiting for orders!»

«Great. Stay alert, the Commander could contact you for the extraction any moment!»

«Sure, Sir!»

Shepard is again on Rannoch with Tali'Zorah and Garrus: they've finally located the Reaper's base that controls the Geth, but jamming towers are preventing orbital bombardment, so they've landed to use a prototype targeting laser to enable the Normandy to destroy it.

This time Alenko hasn't joined them because, as the second-in-command in the ship, he has to interact from the War room with the Quarian fleet, to coordinate the attack from the space.

Steve is sitting in his piloting seat in the Kodiak, listening to all what's happening on the planet through the comm-link. Till that moment they're doing a great job, and now Shepard is ready to designate the target for the bombardment. Suddenly Shepard yells «EDI! Do you copy that?»

«Of course, Commander»

«Come on! FIRE!», and the Thanix cannons of the ship start to shoot.

After a while, he hears a huge explosion. «Damn!», Shepard curses «A working Reaper is coming out from the hole!»

Cortez is totally caught by fear: "A Reaper!"

The following minutes are full of tension: Shepard is determined to take down the enemy, so she orders EDI to sync the Normandy's targeting systems with the Quarian fleet, and she begins to target it on her own feet.

«FIRE!», all the ships shoot at her call, once, twice… At the fourth explosion, the Reaper finally seems to be defeated.

«Shepard? SHEPARD! Are you ok?», Alenko doesn't mind to hide is anxiety.

«Yes yes, it's all right, Major», she pants.

"Thanks God!", Cortez thinks relieved.

Screams of joy flood the comm-link from all the Normandy and the Quarian ships. But again, something else goes wrong: Legion wants to upload the Reaper code to the Geth collective, because it will enhance their processing functionality to the point of achieving true intelligence, while the Admiral Tali'Zorah is totally concerned about what this would mean for her people.

The situation seems to be desperate, but Shepard somehow manages to resolve it, convincing both species to stop the war and to co-exist and co-operate in the reconstruction of Rannoch's civilization. It is an amazing happy ending for a war that lasts from about centuries, but it costs the sacrifice of Legion to upload the code to all his kind.

«Cortez, we are ready for the extraction», she calls him, her tone is gloomy.

«I am on your way, Ma'am!»

When he arrives, he sees Shepard talking to a Geth Prime who's holding Legion's motionless body.

«We're going to take care of him, his sacrifice will never be forgotten», he tells her.

«Ok… Goodbye Legion… It was an honor to fight by your side…», she caresses Legion's right shoulder, where there's the N7 logo - a fragment of her old hardsuit - then she turns to enter the shuttle.

During all the trip they stay in silence, mourning Legion's loss, almost forgetting the incredible things they… SHE has just done: defeat a Reaper and stop an endless war.

By surprise, as they enter the Normandy, they find the entire crew in the Shuttle Bay, who want to congratulate the Commander… but when she gets out of the Kodiak, one voice overtops the others: «SHARILIN!»

Alenko is running towards her, without thinking about all the people around them, calling her by her first name. When he reaches her, he takes her in his arms and kisses her lips passionately. Shepard responds to the kiss immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck, embracing him more tight, while all the rest of the people in the ship are staring at them with their jaws dropped.

After a while the Major pulls apart from her lips, taking her face with his hands and looking straight in her eyes. «To face a Reaper alone on your own feet Sharilin?! You almost killed me!»

«I am sorry, Kaidan, but you know I had to…», she answers him tenderly.

«I know, baby…», he embraces her again.

«Kaidan… they're all watching us…», Shepard says looking over his shoulder towards the whole crew.

«Who cares! I would never be able to wait to embrace you again…», he says caressing her hair, while she's melting down, sighing happy and embarrassed at the same time.

Suddenly James gives them a whistle. «Yeah! Come on, Alenko! You rock!», and the rest of the audience follow him whistling, smiling, clapping hands, cheering and celebrating their commanding officers. Shepard and Alenko both stare at the crew surprised, and after a while they burst into laughing out loud: the relief of being all there together, alive and winners, after a day full of emotion like that, is unimaginable.

Steve takes part in the celebrations, applauding moved. "Yes, we're going to make it! We will defeat all the Reapers, I know we will!", he starts thinking, thanks to the merry mood of the situation. But abruptly he sees in the crowd the journalist Allers with her cam and an evil grin on her face.

"Oh no!"

* * *

******NOTE: Shepard's song is "Bittersweet" by Within Temptation.**


End file.
